


We're Here for You

by nightfuryy



Series: Where Sirius Lives and Harry Finally Has a Family [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Nightmares, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Panic Attacks, Post-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Sirius Black Free from Azkaban, Sirius Black Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:35:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfuryy/pseuds/nightfuryy
Summary: Harry writhed in pain under the cruciatus curse. He couldn’t help the screaming that escaped his lips. His entire body felt like it was on fire. He clawed at his skin in a futile attempt to get rid of the burning sensation. He could feel wetness on the tips of his fingers, but whatever was wet wasn’t doing anything to quell the flames Harry felt engulfing him.“Harry!” he could hear Sirius somewhere nearby calling his name. He tried to call back for help, but the only thing he could get out was more agonized screaming. “Harry wake up!”Harry has a particularly rough nightmare and Sirius is there.Post-OotPcan be read as a stand alone
Relationships: Sirius Black & Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (implied)
Series: Where Sirius Lives and Harry Finally Has a Family [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117985
Comments: 4
Kudos: 100





	We're Here for You

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this was supposed to be super fluffy and happy because I need more Sirius & Harry as a happy family, but it took a turn in the complete opposite direction against my will.

Harry writhed in pain under the cruciatus curse. He couldn’t help the screaming that escaped his lips. His entire body felt like it was on fire. He clawed at his skin in a futile attempt to get rid of the burning sensation. He could feel wetness on the tips of his fingers, but whatever was wet wasn’t doing anything to quell the flames Harry felt engulfing him.

“Harry!” he could hear Sirius somewhere nearby calling his name. He tried to call back for help, but the only thing he could get out was more agonized screaming. “Harry wake up!”

The young wizard shot upright, almost colliding heads with the shadow that was hovering over him. Harry tried to suck in a deep gasp but found that he couldn’t. He grabbed at his throat, trying to get rid of whatever was making it impossible to breathe. His lungs heaved trying to get air in.

“Woah, easy Harry,” Sirius’ voice came again from the figure he’d almost hit heads with. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” Hands came up to Harry’s own, trying to stop him.

“I can’t- I can’t- I can’t bre-eathe,” Harry gasped. “I can’t- breathe. Sirius.” Panic. No matter how much air he tried to suck in, it wasn’t enough. His lungs tried to get the oxygen he needed, but nothing worked. Harry kept trying to fight Sirius’ grip on his hands, too, but that didn’t work either.

Sirius moved to sit in the middle of the bed and held Harry against his chest. With his free hand, he rubbed his godson’s back, trying to soothe the panicking boy.

“Breathe with me,” Sirius said calmly, wrapping his arm around Harry. He nodded into his chest and did his best to match his breathing to his godfather’s. He screwed his eyes shut as he tried to fight the anxiety that welled in his chest.

“Shirt,” Harry gasped. It was too tight. It clung to his skin from sweat and it felt like it was trying to strangle him. He needed it off.

“Okay,” Sirius nodded. He let go of Harry long enough to help him take his shirt off before resuming his previous position.

The younger wizard eventually slumped into Sirius’ side when he calmed down just enough for his muscles to go limp. Harry stopped trying to grab at his throat, but he was still struggling to slow his breathing, though.

“Oh Harry,” Sirius sighed.

“Siri…” Harry whimpered

“I know, Prongslet,” Sirius said. He pushed Harry’s hair that was matted to his forehead with sweat out of his face. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”

“Sirius I can’t,” Harry mumbled after a few minutes of trying to calm his breathing. It had evened out some, but the anxiety in his chest wouldn’t go away and neither would the phantom pain from the curse.

“Okay.” He could feel Sirius nod against the top of his head. “You’ve done good. Let’s get you cleaned up. I think you hurt yourself in your sleep.” Sirius tried to look down at Harry’s face, but the boy held tight to the animagus. He sighed. “Five minutes Harry and then we can go lay down.”

Harry refused to let go of Sirius for a few more seconds before he nodded and finally relaxed his grip on the older wizard.

“There we go.” Sirius offered Harry a small smile, then carried the younger wizard to the bathroom and set Harry on the counter. Harry would have been embarrassed, except he didn’t think he could even stand at the moment. His eyes followed the animagus as he got a wet washcloth and some potions.

A hiss escaped the boy as Sirius pressed the washcloth against his scraped up sides. Harry could tell he was being as gentle as possible, but it still stung.

“Sorry,” Sirius apologized.

“‘S okay,” Harry said quietly. “Just cold and stings a little.”

Sirius finished wiping the blood off of Harry’s sides before taking the washcloth and cleaning the blood out from under his nails. He then grabbed the potions and applied them to Harry’s sides. Harry sighed at the cooling feeling they caused.

“Did you hurt yourself anywhere else?” Harry shook his head as he stared down at his lap. Sirius nodded in response. “My room or yours?”

“Mine. I don’t want to wake Moony.” The younger wizard wanted to stay in Sirius’ room with both of his parents, but the night before had been a full moon and he didn’t want to disturb him.

“Alright. Off you get then. I’ll be in in a moment.”

Harry nodded and hopped down from the counter. He made his way back to his room slowly and leaning against the wall since his entire body was shaking and he was focusing on not falling.

Once he was inside, the boy quickly changed into clean pajamas, then collapsed onto his bed. He stared off into the dark until Sirius came back. His limbs and teeth started to tingle like they usually did when he was coming down from a panic attack or anxiety attack.

Sirius returned a couple minutes later and laid down next to Harry, who tucked himself under the animagus’ arm. He took a deep breath in, starting to calm down finally.

“What was this one about?” Sirius asked softly.

“Back in the cemetery,” Harry mumbled. He could barely hear himself, so he hoped his godfather could hear him. He didn’t think he had it in him to speak much louder.

“Was it about Cedric?”

“No… It was the cruciatus curse.” Harry squirmed a little bit. He could still feel some of the phantom pain. The younger wizard didn’t realize he had started to scratch at his arms from anxiety until Sirius’ gentle hand was guiding his own away and placing it on the blankets.

“Sorry…”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Sirius said, hugging Harry closer. “Does it still hurt?”

“A little bit,” Harry shrugged. He looked up at his godfather with questioning eyes. How did he know he could still feel it after the dream, he wondered. Sirius gave him a grim smile.

“My mother,” Sirius started to explain. “Lovely woman as you know. She was no better to me than Vernon was to you.” Harry flinched at the mention of his uncle. “Except she didn’t use a belt or any other physical punishment. Walburga preferred magical methods. Her favorite was the cruciatus curse.”

“Does it ever go away?” Harry looked up at Sirius. The look he got told him the answer wasn’t one he wanted to hear.

“I wish I could say it does,” Sirius sighed. “It’s less frequent. But I can still feel it sometimes in my dreams. Moony’s always there for me, though.”

Harry couldn’t help the tears that started to fall. He refused to make any noise, but his body shook with silent sobs.

“I don’t want nightmares anymore.” Harry balled his fists around the blankets. “I hate going to sleep. I hate being scared of closing my eyes all the time. I hate that I wake you and Moony up all the time. I’m a bloody burden!”

“Don’t ever think like that. You’re never a burden. It gets better with time, I promise,” Sirius tried to comfort the crying boy. “I know it’s hard. But Moony and I will always be there for you. Very bad things have happened to you. It’s gonna take time but the nightmares happen less and less.”

“I know… It’s just sometimes… Sometimes it makes living really hard and sometimes I don’t want to do it anymore.”

Sirius tensed. “How often do you feel like that?”

“Mostly after really bad nightmares,” Harry whispered.

“Any time you feel like that, I need you to tell someone or make sure you’re with someone. Me, Remus, Ron, Hermione, the twins, anyone,” he told Harry. “Can you promise me that? You are loved by so many people who will help you. I swear to you on my life that it gets better. But you’re my godson- my son- and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Harry could hear Sirius’ voice crack as he fought tears.

“I promise.”

Sirius nodded. He turned onto his side and pulled Harry into a full hug. “…Do you feel like that right now?” Harry felt like the animagus was holding onto him like he was going to disappear.

“A little bit,” Harry admitted quietly.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Are you gonna tell Remus?” the younger wizard asked.

“Yes. I think he should know. Unless you want to tell him yourself,” Sirius replied.

“No. You can tell him.” Harry burrowed himself impossibly closer to the older wizard. “Can you keep talking please?”

“Sure, Harry.”

“Thanks. Love you Dad.” Harry yawned and let his eyes close as he listened to Sirius tell him a story from when he was a kid. The last thing he felt before drifting off to sleep was Sirius kissing the top of his head.

The next morning Harry woke up alone in his room. It took a few moments for the events of the previous night to come crashing back to him, and when they did, Harry couldn’t help the shame that washed over him. He felt heat rush to his cheeks and he buried his face in his pillow. Harry couldn’t believe what he’d admitted to Sirius. He felt weak. No one was meant to know that. And now Sirius was going to tell Remus. He felt like crying. Harry wondered how long he could avoid having to deal with the inevitable conversation that was to come. But after several minutes of laying in bed with his face in his pillow, Harry got up and trudged downstairs to find his family.

Harry could hear his parents’ voices coming from the kitchen as he approached it, but they were talking so low he couldn’t make out what they were saying. Dread settled heavy in his stomach. He paused briefly, taking a deep breath, then forcing his unwilling feet to carry him inside the kitchen.

Once through the doorway, Harry was met with two sets of eyes. Sirius’ were oddly serious for the time of day and Remus’ were oddly awake. Sirius had already talked to Remus, Harry realized. He walked in, dropping his gaze to the floor and dropped into his usual spot at the table.

“Better this morning?” Sirius asked. Harry nodded.

They sat in silence for a minute before Remus spoke.

“Harry? Could you look at me please?” Harry looked up at the werewolf. He found it hard to hold eye contact, though, so his eyes jumped around between different features of Remus’ face. He gave Harry a small smile in thanks. “I know Padfoot already made you promise that you’ll find someone when you’re feeling… really bad…. but I need you to promise me, too.”

“I promise Moony. Don’t worry,” Harry said.

“We’ll always worry about you Prongslet.” Sorrow shined in Remus’ eyes.

“That’s what parents do,” Sirius added.

Remus got up suddenly and walked around behind his husband. He pulled Harry to his feet and hugged the boy tight. Harry returned the hug.

“I know how bad it can get,” the werewolf said meaningfully. “And I hate that you have to experience that, too, but we’re here for you.”

“Always?” Harry asked.

“Always,” Sirius said.


End file.
